a spanner in the plans

so i was having one of those stretches where i thought i knew what i wanted to do (HAHA) and life was trundling along at a nice pace. there i was - relatively confident that i was in medicine to do XYZ. and then we start women's health / obs&gynae this week and OHMYMAMA i realise that i actually really really enjoy the work. more so than i've been interested in anything else. i like working with / supporting women. i mean, i'm such a feminist. all about female empowerment and loving your fellow (wo)man in an entirely non-sapphic kind of way. and once you get over how it's all the business end of lady parts, it's really quite fascinating.

you've got to understand that what put me off medicine the very first time (after A levels) was O&G. i had a sub-optimal internship experience, met doctors who regretted doing medicine and saw three women doctors break down on the wards. one harried MO only saw her 6 month old son on weekends (he lived with her parents), another called her child 'it' and the third, a neonatologist on call, was in tears at the thought of caring for everyone's child except her own. i was an impressionable teenager, saw this, figured it didn't square with my life plans to eventually have house, spouse and children, and ran straight to law where i figured i could be a taitai (lady of leisure) after. unfortunately (or fortunately for the mister!), i like to work. and taitaidom is fast losing its lustre. being runner-up for "most likely to be a taitai" at both secondary school and lawsch (true story!) was ironically prescient. so close! 

now i really don't want to bore / disgust you with what went on in the delivery suite today but i thoroughly enjoyed schlepping around in blue scrubs and being with the midwives and mamas-to-be. the specialty trainees were awesome too! patient and nurturing, they took time to teach me and i got to scrub in to be an extra pair of hands during a c-section! there's a great energy to the place and i love being fueled by caffeine and adrenaline. reminds me of when i was a trainee lawyer! junkie-tendencies aside, i just had this massive epiphany that almost scares me because it's been awhile since i last felt so strongly about something. not since i applied to medsch, to be honest (oh ya, and getting married. sorry husband!) but this is proving to be a rather life-altering rotation. and of course O&G is the first thing i used to say i didn't want to do whenever i'm asked what i want to specialise in. because choosing your interest by the process of elimination works so well, not.