first week down

pleased to report that my initial apprehension was misplaced. to risk tempting fate, dare i say i love my job. when we first found out in march (?), i had a mini freak out and was desperate to swap my first job because it's not a specialty i'm vaguely interested in. all that stopped me from doing so was this overwhelming sense of peace that surpassed all understanding, so i didn't. and boy am i glad i didn't because unbeknownst to me, this is the best possible job for what's currently unfolding in my life. remain immensely grateful for provision and protection, because so much is beyond my control and i couldn't have planned this better if i had been the sort to plan. 

on a fab team in a challenging and demanding unit but feel supported and understood in a way i hadn't expected. we hear all these first job horror stories and it's hard not to buy into the fear. for obvious reasons (information government, patient confidentiality etc) i'm going to have to be deliberately vague about where i am or what i'm doing but always happy to share more in person. needless to say, things are looking good :)

what does get my goat, however, is the negativity and presumption i'm faced with when speaking with acquaintances and this probably isn't the forum to vent irritation. but when someone asks how things are then answers their own question with "must be very tough" i wonder if they're trying to be understanding / patronising / condescending. if you already seem to know then why ask haha. but it's not and i try not to get my heckles up and go on the defensive. because everyone needs encouragement and i'm less inclined to want to talk to energy-sappers. maybe it is tough and i'm in denial and here i am lapsing into war stories but another bug bear is when doctors say lawyers have it easier. they don't. i've been both. and lawyers work harder and have more demands made of them. why else would i tap out to choose the dark side?!! again, presumption and hm i need to stop taking sides :P doctors don't bring their patients home, it's lawyers who're on call 24/7 with blackberries. doctors know their rotas, have visibility re: being on call etc. lawyer's have fixed periods they know they're going to be busy over, but at any given moment, things can hit the fan and it's all hands on the deck without any warning. evidently didn't last long in commercial litigation myself but had dinner at home max four times in six months, and was in to the office for at least a day every weekend. so no, smug registrar who told me lawyers got off easily, no they don't and i've nothing but respect for the profession and their work ethic. 

as a not-so-funny aside: even today, on the rare occasion an email from my former boss pings in my inbox, my heart skips a beat (in the most adrenaline-driven, unromantic way) even though i know it can't be work-related!

pre-empting the need for hibernation this weekend, had gone easy on the social calendar this week but turns out i didn't have to and ended up going out with friends after work almost every night! which was great :) didn't anticipate having the energy to do anything else but wahey :)

checked out a new salad bar in the 'hood on wednesday with darling M who just turned 30.

 

had a fab south african style bbq at friends' beautiful mews house on thursday with newlyweds whose joburg wedding i had to pass on in the midst of finals. gracious hosts JP & F need no introduction, having been in copenhagen with them in october then NYC in feb.

met newlyweds L & N whom i hadn't seen since our first wedding anniversary in london on friday for sticks&sushi at wimbledon

and then malaysian*supper club with D &co. last night. oh and dimsum for 11 (but 14 heartbeats hehe) at lunch time today! so, truly, it's been a bumper week of catch ups and being back in london after summer means seeing all the lovely folk who've reconvened in this little city we call home (for now).

as the dust settles

it's been a whirlwind couple of weeks, to say the least. went on a last minute road trip post-exams because eight days of rocking back and forth in a padded cell was more than i could subject my mental health to, went to glasgow (!!!) to get my visa sorted and found out the next morning that i'd passed finals. the shock, the relief, the overwhelming joy. then it was back to toon for grad ball, a 'crisis management' driving lesson and then my driving test bright and early the next morning. passed that too, and felt like a rockstar. yes, been driving since i was 18 but was lazy and got an automatic licence in sg so thought it high time i grew up and learnt how to drive manual. which i did. so there!

was in singers for a couple of weeks then back to london. parents came up for grad and it was busy busy, with a short trip to the country after. funny story there - father had said we were going to the cotswolds before realising it was a 3h drive from london. he made the executive decision that a 45min drive was sufficiently heroic and we ended up at cliveden*house near maidenhead. beautiful setting, set in the national trust so lots of lovely grounds and walks. didn't have the heart to tell him that we could've just stayed in london and slept at mine, seeing how we remained so close to the city.

parents left and i pottered around the flat before deciding i needed a final fling before starting work (tomorrow!) and escaped north as i'm wont to do. lazy weekend with 12h zz, good food and good company, the perfect end to this five year sabbatical.

so i start work tomorrow and am more than a little apprehensive today. the responsibility! this is my career we're talking about! i'm working again (gulp) but the other part of me is thinking that this is about time, that this end point / starting point is what i've been inching towards for the last five years. and now i'm finally here, i should really be more positive.