keep going

don't want to sound like a broken recorder, or to constantly wallow but was feeling tired (haha, who doesn't). was clerking a patient that day and she said she was tired all the time and reg and i kinda exchanged a knowing look like 'omg, tell me about it' because he'd worked the last 10 days with no day off, i'm just a weaksauce medical student adjusting to long hours. we're all tired all the time and not feeling 100%. in fact i was checked for presenting back that the patient 'didn't feel well'  without going into specifics because according to the reg, no one feels well at any given point, there's always something wrong? bit negative but more common than one would think. anyway was encouraged by this article to press on, that the temporary stasis is temporary. keep reminding myself to count my blessings, that i'm fortunate to get a second bite of the university cherry and to be on the way to becoming a doctor. it's really the last push and yes it's not going to get easier but i rather do this than anything else. 

loved the conclusion - too good not to share

When you’re tired, go slowly. Go quietly. Go timidly. But do not stop. You are tired for all the right reasons. You are tired because you’re supposed to be. You’re tired because you’re making a change. You are exhausted for all the right reasons and it’s only an indication to go on. You are tired because you’re growing. And someday that growth will give way to the exact rejuvenation that you need.

leftovers made better

got take out early in the week and managed to stretch the leftovers to two more days. should really be less parsimonious when it comes to food and learn to toss things beyond their 'best by' date because leftover rice is never a good idea. also should better apply scant medical knowledge to know that re-heating said leftover rice doesn't necessarily make it safe because while heat might kill the bacteria, they've already secreted the harmful toxins into the rice. but fingers crossed and lived to laosai another day. um there's really no magic to this and it's absolutely not photo-worthy but it tasted so good. had beef and prawns (weird combo but worked) in gravy, threw in tomatoes to make it healthy (oh who am i kidding) then re-fried the fried rice in the gravy, along with every thing else. took absolutely no skill nor culinary know how but super yummy almost risotto like in consistency because the gravy thickened some more and the rice poached in the saucy goodness. now to try to replicate it, hoping it wasn't a leftover jackpot that only happens once in a blue moon.

speaking of which, absolutely in love with this hilarious insta account. discovered it a few months ago and many of her illustrations and rhymes really speak to me.

abandoned clothes

being the race noob i am, had no clue that runners shed layers at the starting line! this was the carnage after the half marathon, and i'd the dubious honour of picking my way through the remains as i went to be nosey around the assembly point. clocked the council truck collecting the clothes for the homeless (i hope?) and was amazed by the sheer waste. the mister is running the NYC marathon in november and hm really don't think i'm game to hop across the pond to cheer him on. bad wife, i know. although i do suppose there are worst ways to spend a november weekend. the sun came out for once (poor runners) and the uni looked resplendent in the light. love a little lavender and this patch smelled divine.

mooncakey

posting this late but a family friend very kindly handcarried a box of max*im mooncakes to london and they were amazeballs. am not the biggest fan of mooncakes and usually spoilt and only have the newfangled snowskin truffle type from a certain hotel, or durian. never been inclinced to have the traditional sort although they're the kind i remember having as a child. so truth be told, wasn't overly excited by the mooncakes when the mister produced them with flair. however, one bite and i was sold. then i hid them from him and scoffed the lot. because there was something different about them and something not only nostalgic but also addictive. weird, huh. wondered if it was because i was subconsciously homesick (no, not really) so i asked our benefactor where she'd acquired them. turns out she'd been based in hong kong for years and found these to be the best (no surprise!) and when she located them in singers was quick to buy a box for me. the way to my heart is truly through my stomach. so there was a massive half marathon outside the flat that morning and while i spied on the lycra clad keenies darkening the doorstep, i smugly nibbled mooncakey goodness, sipped monmouth coffee and thought, "better you than me!!!"

rough days

it's been a somewhat bumpy start to final year. my aim to remain an effervescent bubble of enthusiastic oblivion hasn't gone according to plan. suppose it was more a matter of crash landing to reality after a relaxed third year (yay clinics!) and get-outta-jail fourth year in london and elective in singers. not without its challenges but nothing insurmountable, you know? even with only one (maybe two) weeks off between fourth and fifth year, still managed to make the most of it. then suddenly the learning curve increases exponentially. it was all cuddly in third year, fumbling for diagnosis and loads of encouragement to nudge us in the right general direction. suddenly fifth year is ohmymama, expected to be able to rattle off investigations and management plans from the get go. take no prisoners! have also found women's health tricky. now i'm a girly girl and all for loving fellow (wo)man so it's hard to be in termination of pregnancy clinics because i feel of the women having to make such horrible decisions. again, respect and support her for doing what she thinks is best by her. this is of course juxtaposed by infertility clinic the very next day and seeing couple after couple having difficulty conceiving. in between the extremes, there's early pregnancy clinic with miscarriages (threatened, inevitable, complete and partial) and people on an emotional rollercoaster marinating in pregnancy hormones. all pretty grim. of course labour ward is a largely happy place but uh watching the superheroes push buses through teensyy tiny doors is a far from pretty sight. long hours, working weekend without off in lieu (???!) and being generally sleep-deprived is probably more than representative of what working life is going to be like. 

so it was after TOP clinic that i came home a little sad and ordered a chinese take out to feel better. admittedly not the best coping mechanism but it did the trick. and stocked up on emergency waitrose meals for the next rough day, which sad to say came in quick succession. hey ho.

holy island

went wilderness-ing a few years ago and dins at kate the wilderness queen's inspired to go all over again. wish weather had been better but grey skies are undeniably part of the english charm. makes for underwhelming travel photos and the like! the tidal crossing is a barrel of laughs because there's always one clown whose car washes out to sea. it's really not complicated but also not something i'd put past myself to do. climb to safety and wave fair chariot adieu? there's craster kippers near by, favourite fish from a shack, well, almost because i'm partial to the fried herrings by the ostermalmstorg tunnelbana in stockholm. point to this is that there's so much of northumberland to explore and enjoy. unbeknownst to me at the very same time A and P had ventured into the big bad woods of kielder so it was laughs all round when we convened at dins and they regaled me with tales of the wicker man proportion.

now i've waxed lyrical about them before and will do so again because my girl crush shows no sign of abating. am always drawn to strong women and these two are lovely beyond belief. am perfectly content to sit in their presence listening them to talk about work and life and everything in between that sort of pads the existence of an uber successful surgical registrar. have nothing but respect for them and remain in awe of how good they are at their jobs. that's one thing i strive for - not necessarily in a surgical specialty but i want to get very good at what i do. appreciate it's a hard field to be in, especially as a girl, but they more than hold their own against their male counterparts. male counterparts - are we really in 2015???

hutong

little brother graduated with a first and i'm finally vindicated for all the times i've hit him on the head. the graduation ceremony was more enjoyable than i'd anticipated! the embarrassing*bodies doctor was the guest speaker and he had the hall in stitches. most of it i can't repeat in polite company but highly entertaining and i'd recommend becoming a groupie just to hang around him in hope of catching the soundbites. it was also only fitting that we went to hutong to celebrate - happy families with his +1s folk coming to town for her graduation as well. hutong needs no introduction and it's always a good time. there is a new dimsum chef and the dimsum was hands down the best i've ever had. the skins were smooth and soft, none of that chewy frozen pre-made skin nonsense and i was seriously impressed by the mad skillz . will defo be back, sooner rather than later for the dimsum fix.

danish apartment

ever-resourceful friends booked this gorgeous airbnb right in the centre of town! literally on the main street and next to the best bakery. enter through a heavy wooden door next to a sex shop (aren't they all next to erotic museums of one kind or the other...) and into a light filled courtyard with bicycles and shrubbery. i fell in love with the interior, too. what's up with the amazing scandi aesthetic? they just make everything look cooler and better. there was even a sauna in the apartment, i kid you not. perfect for sitting in fully clothed to dry off after being caught in the rain.

unassuming brunch

copenhagen was an exercise in hedonism and very little sleep. was out two nights in a row, which for a homebody like me, is double my annual quota. stayed in the meatpacking district and laden with the rest of the bbq-ed brontosaurus in doggy bags, we went clubbing. raised a couple of eyebrows and the bouncers were mean. i didn't like being forced to pay to check my coat but when in rome. club was a bit grungy and not really my scene but figure that's what it's like in copenhagen. shards of broken glass everywhere (biggest fear) and music hit and miss. but company, as always, was golden and that more than makes up for all manner of sin. eventually escaped in uber driven by palestinian when aforementioned texan started to get intel on the village he came from. sneaky. 

T knows us all too well and booked brunch atop of the post museum for a civilised hour in the afternoon. in any other city, the place would've been rammed and requiring advance booking, given the gorgeous terrace and natural light. but in copenhagen it was chill and we were the only tourists. i liked how unassuming it was despite its potential. lots of three generation families all there for sunday brunch, no one overly hip and no annoyingly snap happy crowd (just us). taking the lift up was an experience and it felt like we'd gone through the roof at some point!

and because bubbles make everything better, we'd to order asti (augh, too sweet) to make mimosas.

splinter group

copenhagen is synonymous with n*oma and much as i'd have loved to try it (T scored a reso for the entire group...) it just didn't seem fiscally responsible to spend upward of £400 on a meal. maybe one day when i've a bucketload of £££ but hm even then, don't think i could bring myself to spend that kind of money on an experience. could well just be me being sour grapes... who knows ! no surprises there were like minded folk (F is in the midst of redecorating and put the money towards a new bed!) and we led a splinter group to war*pig instead. now war*pig was by no means inexpensive. when we first got there, it looked sort of scandi distressed canteen, all communal dining at picnic tables in the meatpacking district. how a danish summer camp mess hall would've looked if i were to imagine things! but, of course, trust T to do things in style. he booked us the general's room (it's war themed?) in the middle of the restaurant and we were safely ensconced in a glass partition with a thick red velvet curtain. all very swish! and because it was the general's room, we'd 2 x 30l kegs of beer brewed on site (!!!). it didn't take long before we took turns to play bartender, trying to pull the perfect pint as attempts at perfection grew more ill as time went by. the starters came and they were a meal in themselves, followed by a meat tray that could easily feed 500. i kid you not. there may or may not have been an element of schaudenfreude that contributed to my enjoyment of our dinner as M at noma gave us a live commentary of their 17 courses of leaves in various shape and form. subtext: "i'm still so hungry" and "can you bring the leftovers???"

(this was for four people. four.)

escape to copenhagen

 

am so completely weaksauce but the first week of final year got to be a bit too much. think i'm unduly anxious about the whole thing and really need to check out to check in, if you get what i mean. didn't take much persuasion to join the crew in copenhagen. T very kindly organised a weekend for the bunch of us and it'd have been silly not to take up his offer. was last there christmas 2012 and long overdue for a visit. am already partial to scandinavia and felt like hipster central upon landing. where were all these good looking people coming from?!

 small plane and felt like private jet as there were about 10 of us on it on my outbound leg haha. SAS and tickets were exorbitant £500 (!!!) but managed to redeem points because it's a star alliance member #winning, although i was disappointed they didn't feed us on the flight. pay for food? never!

T was hosting a house warming that escalated to 90 people. his missus ended up buying a tent in his absence to accommodate everyone! landed too late to join them in the country but satiated my hunger (refused to pay for food in-flight, remember?) at the airport BK before taking the metro to the city. the crew came out post house-warming and caught the tail end of happy hour at katz. was seated next to a quick thinking off-duty policewoman who told me that happy hour was ending and to quickly get my cocktails. why thank you :)

a little worse for wear the next day and more than thankful that T had planned a 1pm start. moseyed through the city to the waterside for a street food lunch! maybe it was copenhagen's idea of a hawker centre haha.

T then took us walking to ward off that post-prandial dip, although that was bound to happen after certain parties who remain unnamed went for double fried goose fat fries when surrounded with a dazzling array of culinary choice. cough texans cough. there was also a fair amount of beer involved because i had not looked into the future and seen the two brewed on site kegs that were to come our way that evening... strolling through christiana was like going back in time. i was reminded of A, a german friend on exchange in stockholm, whose longchamp bag and LV scarf emerged with ciggie burns after her visit to christiana. too opulent, maybe. beautiful cabins and very relaxed vibe in the air.

seven brides

since moving to london, have made it a personal mission every summer to attend as many productions at the open air theatre as possible. started with the sound of music in 2012 and was hooked! also caught 12th night, to kill a mockingbird, and peter pan earlier this summer. this was the first time it rained. and twice! have always had good weather before this and was even a little blase so you can imagine our disappointment when the show was cancelled because of inclement weather :( rebooked onto the be rained out again but it was third time lucky. by which time i could probably sing and dance along with the cast for the first 1/3 of the musical because that's how far it got before cancellation the first two times!

great drive and determination...

paris

had meant to escape to paris earlier this year but work commitments meant a change in eurostar tickets. the only free weekend was the one right after returning to london so no brainer, nevermind it was going to be my last weekend before starting final year and i really should've stayed put to sort things out. felt a bit silly to keep saying it was my final fling before final year because had a little wobble in paris and booked to go to copenhagen during first weekend of final year. old habits die hard, and my flight reflex is a little stronger than the fight.

paris doesn't even need to try and i'm in love. C suggested the new LVMH museum and hm i have to agree with the tourist who sniffed, 'so much space, so little art'. maybe my leanings are more conventional and while i agree it's an amazing space with incredibly architecture (ok, a little same-y but it's gehry after all) it was a bit thin in terms of art work. nothing particularly eye-catching and nothing that made me go 'wow'. i wasn't wow-ed! and that upset me because i'd expected to be.

rooftop bar to end all roof top bars. my love affair with the eiffel tower was renewed. have many happy memories of going to sleep looking at the tower when i stayed with the Bs. they took me in when i was on exchange in stockholm, and a couple of times during my grad trip when they let me use paris as a base. i've watched their boys grow up . met P when he was two and M very kindly drove us from paris to chamonix and he's now all grown up about to go to university. F is elegant as ever, what's up with french women who look so put together all the time, even first thing in the morning. it was lovely to see them again, to see them doing well.

stockholm in singers

after a too-short weekend in KL, i got round two with J&A in singers. they'd been three years ago for a couple of days for our wedding celebration, and A had stopped over a couple of months before that during his great SEA adventure, and more recently for training. but it was a treat to have J and parents in town. was desperate to thank them for hosting me over two summers at their beautiful home in aix. they know how much i love their part of provence with the cezanne mountain and i felt like it'd be hard to top the natural beauty of their immediate surroundings. but singers delivered and i loved every minute of being able to show them my home for a change. pidgin french gets me only so far, but sign language and a few key words and we were good to go. also, J's family is armenian and we went to the armenian church which i think they really liked :) for once paying attention in secondary school during the civic district tour paid off!

took the sampan for a spin and thought to mix up the high and low. i keep saying that in singers it's either <$5 or >$50 when it comes to food. we eased her folks into hawker centre (who'd have thunk that murtabak was close to armenian cuisine!!!) and road side eating. haji lane happy hour drinks, long bar at the raffles and swissotel kopitiam for that mix of high/low gastronomy. 

the crew

we realised that night that we'd been going there for over eight years. i realised how grateful i am for these three in my life, for friends who've seen me at my worst and withold judgment. from the bad influences that they are. there was one low point at the lawsch library when K came with maccas because i was hangry, and C brought his box of teeth to count while i revised tort. K is a quickly ascending the greasy pole that is medical residency in singers, C is finishing his masters in orthodontics (yay london!) having gone straight in after a year of work and being one of the youngest in his class and J keeps getting more awesome, but he's my uncle and i'm biased. one of the things i realise with age and distance is that people fall by the wayside and it's sad to lose people who once meant a lot. on the flip side, i'm all the more appreciative of friends who stay there, whose friendship becomes stronger and the convergent change makes them an increasingly big part of my life and support network.

we used to manage rounds in our hazy youth but now it was a drink each (i had orangina) then early nights because K had to round first thing in the morning and we were all sleepy by 9.

phuket

didn't have many weekends in singers. stayed the first to avoid being world's most absent godparent (godson's first month!) but was in KL for the second weekend and broke free to phuket for the third to celebrate a birthday. very generous friends have a home in phuket and kindly invited us to spend some time there with them. they'd just moved in phuket and i was excited to see the new place, haveing spent many happy days at their previous home. they're the sort of couple i want to be when i grow up, nothing short of awe-inspiring and so giving of their time and energy. i love being around them and can sit and rapt awe listening to their stories and just absorbing their views on anything and everything. never a dull moment and i feel educated merely in their presence. i'm also humbled by how unassuming they are, side by side with the help mopping up the sopping wet dining table after yet another tropical storm. all hands on the deck and no airs nor pretense.

KL

summer time is wedding time and once back in singers, i hunkered down to my elective before realising that NGO work meant i'd to work weekends too. tell a lie, the NGO was great and non pushy / demanding but i was so keen i just didn't want to stop doing work for them. ended up biting off more than i could chew and over-committing, then not wanting to drop all the balls worked harder than i'd in some time. to which my darling sister commented that she's never seen me so busy, not even when i was a pupil. why, thanks.... but overtime was a means to an end and i managed to take work to KL (augh, oh no, morphing into one of those martyrs who humblebrags about work!!!) to attend a dear friend's wedding. was flattered to be one of two (!!!) friends at the wedding, because it was a small family affair. hopping across the causeway to KL also was an excuse to visit J and A. we met in stockholm in 2009 (!!!) and have had almost annual check ins, with J and her family graciously hosting me in aix over two summers, A and J hosting me in perth, they came to singers for our wedding celebration, A was in london last winter and they were coming to singers J's folks the week after. delighted to have had more time with them this summer and ever grateful for friends and friendships that grow with me. 

they knew all the good local haunts and i'm well impressed by their culinary sense of adventure. much braver than i'll ever be if the roles were reversed. they also very very kindly put me up in a swish hotel (!!!) because they wouldnt' hear of me crashing on their sofa. absolutely unnecessary but much appreciated and i did end up spending lots of time on their sofa, just not actually sleeping! 

cracking view from their apartment by day and by night

indulgence at the mandarin oriental. big fish in not so small pond! that tuna did not die in vain.