we don't have an anniversary before our wedding anniversary. i attribute it to transcending quite organically from strangers to paramours, so much so we couldn't really put a finger on when we were more than friends. the mister (then 'the manfriend') very romantically tried to explain our relationship to me in terms of the principles of agency law i.e. 'if you're not officially an agent but act like one, you're still an agent'. therefore, 'if you're not officially my girlfriend but act like one, you're still my girlfriend'. what a nerd.
but we do remember the very first time we met for coffee, and we tied the knot on the fifth anniversary of that first date. what was extra meaningful was that it happened to be a friday as well, and it's friday i'm in love was sort of my singlehood (long did that last!) anthem in freshman year. together with thenakedlawyers, or how our little lonely hearts clique referred to ourselves, every friday was cause for celebration that would see us descend on the newest watering hole en masse. so for a sappy sentimentalist like me, to be married on a friday and to be in love (or very serious like!) was a fitting end and beginning.
but we do remember the very first time we met for coffee, and we tied the knot on the fifth anniversary of that first date. what was extra meaningful was that it happened to be a friday as well, and it's friday i'm in love was sort of my singlehood (long did that last!) anthem in freshman year. together with thenakedlawyers, or how our little lonely hearts clique referred to ourselves, every friday was cause for celebration that would see us descend on the newest watering hole en masse. so for a sappy sentimentalist like me, to be married on a friday and to be in love (or very serious like!) was a fitting end and beginning.
i really enjoyed our first anniversary. we spent the eve with dear friends from our wedding party (K had come to iceland, N & L (melbourne-based) and C (all the way from ithaca) made the trek to our singers celebration. they all happened to be visiting london a year later we're incredibly blessed to have such wonderful friends celebrate our first anniversary with us. after an amazing dinner at luiz's japanese supperclub, there was a huge surprise waiting for me back home. the mister had miraculously procured a gift that essentially rendered us unable to afford a family for the next five years. this sneaky mister, always one step ahead of me! and bright and early on our anniversary, we sped to gatwick and barely made our flight to barca to continue the festivities.
as a couple whose relationship has largely been based on adventure and feasting till surfeited collapse, it was nice how our anniversary reflected the things that we enjoy doing together. there are lots of things we enjoy doing apart, too. and it's the independence and space i have that keeps me coming back. i find as a young person it's so easy to lose yourself in an all-consuming partnership and maybe i've my mother to thank for teaching me to value my independence and sense of self. we're very blessed to be a in place where we each get to pursue our individual dreams. the feminist in me gets irked when the doctors' WAGs (wives and girlfriends) (oh don't get me started!) bring up the connection every opportunity they get, and create opportunities when there are none. great you've married up but ohmymama, the next time i hear some smug wife smirk, "oh we haven't been to the GP since husband became a doctor..." i will scream. people only brag about their +1 when they've nothing to be proud of themselves?
then the mister reminds me it's pot calling the kettle black, because i too have the terrible habit of going on and on about him when no one cares. oops :) yet i'm constantly reminded, even when eavesdropping on the next table over brunch, that girls bandy around doctor partners as a prize catch. and i've a dear (single) doctor friend in singapore who's having a field day basking in the attention of all manner of female just because he's got Dr. before his name. ok, so that's selling him short and he's a lovely chap too but you get what i mean. i suppose what i don't like is the female need to be rescued. carrie articulated it in SATC decades (yikes!) ago and it's something that's true till today?
so, what i've learnt from my (as yet relatively short) marriage is that being with someone is freeing. and i don't need rescuing, thank you very much. i'll be my family's doctor one day, thank you very much. but the mister has softened me, and rubbed the hard edges where i'm aggressive and selfish off. not quite the proverbial taming of the shrew and i still have my moments but i'm learning to let go and let him sort things out. so maybe i did need rescuing after all ;)
as a couple whose relationship has largely been based on adventure and feasting till surfeited collapse, it was nice how our anniversary reflected the things that we enjoy doing together. there are lots of things we enjoy doing apart, too. and it's the independence and space i have that keeps me coming back. i find as a young person it's so easy to lose yourself in an all-consuming partnership and maybe i've my mother to thank for teaching me to value my independence and sense of self. we're very blessed to be a in place where we each get to pursue our individual dreams. the feminist in me gets irked when the doctors' WAGs (wives and girlfriends) (oh don't get me started!) bring up the connection every opportunity they get, and create opportunities when there are none. great you've married up but ohmymama, the next time i hear some smug wife smirk, "oh we haven't been to the GP since husband became a doctor..." i will scream. people only brag about their +1 when they've nothing to be proud of themselves?
then the mister reminds me it's pot calling the kettle black, because i too have the terrible habit of going on and on about him when no one cares. oops :) yet i'm constantly reminded, even when eavesdropping on the next table over brunch, that girls bandy around doctor partners as a prize catch. and i've a dear (single) doctor friend in singapore who's having a field day basking in the attention of all manner of female just because he's got Dr. before his name. ok, so that's selling him short and he's a lovely chap too but you get what i mean. i suppose what i don't like is the female need to be rescued. carrie articulated it in SATC decades (yikes!) ago and it's something that's true till today?
so, what i've learnt from my (as yet relatively short) marriage is that being with someone is freeing. and i don't need rescuing, thank you very much. i'll be my family's doctor one day, thank you very much. but the mister has softened me, and rubbed the hard edges where i'm aggressive and selfish off. not quite the proverbial taming of the shrew and i still have my moments but i'm learning to let go and let him sort things out. so maybe i did need rescuing after all ;)
(anniversary spread sans mains at a charming b&b. more photos to come!)
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