industry

i learnt something important over summer - i cannot, and will not, be a full-time housewife. it's fun for the first month or so, and then slowly but surely i morph into a really horrible person. maybe i've my parents to thank for that. they've both been working since the day after graduating, and my mother is still in her first job while my father has changed jobs all of one time when my brother was born (22 years ago!) they've never taken "time out" and i don't think my mother even exhausted her maternity leave entitlement as she was itching to return to work soon after we were born. maybe it's all this middle-class guilt i've been saddled with but i feel like not working is pretty darn despicable. my paternal grandmother was a teacher her whole life and then retired to look after me and my maternal grandmother who wasn't educated got a m-r-s degree, popping out two kids and raising them, has always regretted not going beyond primary four. she would've loved to work if she could've and is reminding me how fortunate i am to be equipped to work. in fact, during our most recent conversation, she was tsk-tsking someone we know who's taking a year off her life to get married. (i tried not to snigger) and putting her life on hold to accompany her spouse. granted it's a personal choice but granny attributed it to lax parenting and a lack of "hunger". maybe fifty years ago it was acceptable to get an m-r-s degree then put your feet up but i find it very hard to understand the compulsion now. again, before you start thinking i'm some heartless autobot, stopping work to look after kids is a completely justifiable "stop". but to be a thumb-twiddling housewife? power to you if your conscience lets you. and maybe i'm just a little bit biased about chasing personal dreams and preserving independence. being a missus is something that i derive great satisfaction from, but surely there's more to life than waiting hand and foot on one lovely individual.

which brings me back to when i was a thumb-twiddling housewife briefly over summer, people actually recoiled. and rightfully so! then again i was too tired / disinterested to say, "i'm a qualified lawyer but in medical school now and on summer vacay." because then people run through the whole FAQ and i'm really not about to justify my life choices to a random. which's another reason i'm grateful we're based in london (haha, love-hate as it may be) and how there's always something to see, something to do, and there's minimal judgment like there might be in singers. not against sabbaticals, and truth be told i probably don't need one only because i've been enjoying a fair bit of university holidays. but hm i guess the point to this is about deriving satisfaction from good work, from pride in the fruit of your labour, and not sponging off your spouse. 

we're fortunate that the mister has a steady income but i'm very conscious of how we're not operating at full capacity and can't wait till i start earning again. frankly put, i miss my lawyer salary. and yes, it's crass to talk about money and that's as far as i'll go but argh, getting married means dropping off the parental gravy train. to be fair, one of the things i'm proudest of is working part-time as an undergrad and paying for my undergrad tuition fees in its entirety (yay!) but i did live at home, i didn't pay rent and i did eat at home most of the time. so my parents were still supporting me when i was in uni. but once we got married, i was unceremoniously bundled over to the mister and he's had to take me for richer for poorer, for better for worse. lucky him.