fourth year

it's been a whirlwind couple of weeks since my housewife moan. was in sg for 9 whole days - the longest time since moving in 2011. usually back for 3-4 days so 3 days into this visit, i was all ready to jump on the first flight to londontown. not wanting to sound like a complete ingrate, it's getting harder to be an adult child at home. sad to see grandmothers getting on, older and more crumbly each visit. the inevitable goodbyes get harder too. 

what was nice was meeting friends. there was a sad element to that too - meeting friends who i've drifted so far away from that catch ups were stilted and painful. it's not always a function of time. there were friends i caught up with for the first time in two years who felt like no time had lapsed since we last hung out. yet there were others who i felt had outgrown me. but that's life isn't it? people change and move on and the sooner we accept it, the sooner we stop pretending we're closer than we actually are, the less awkwardness. something else i can appreciate is friends who make an effort. everyone is busy, everyone has a demanding job and it means a lot when someone tries their darndest to make it out of the office and be present for the short time you've together. been there, done that. know how challenging it can be and all the more grateful for friends who are intentional.

the B word was something that came up a lot. have absolutely no qualms sharing plans and views with nearest and dearest. in fact, i might even volunteer! but if it's a nosey aunty or acquaintance clutching at conversational straws then i get immensely defensive / crabby. i mean, in which universe is it o-k to ask someone about their family planning...?! 

it was an incredibly social week and a bit and met a few new people. part of me wants to minimise obligations in sg and just chill at home, while another part is more opportunistic (okok, FOMO) and craves the high octane social stimulation so easily sought when back for a short visit. 

now the summer hol is well and truly over and i'm back to school, life's slowed down to a more leisurely pace. kinda surreal that in a short 5 weeks, there was aix with jeanne, the cruise with my fam, lisbon, essex and then sg.  loath as i am to talk about uni, fourth year's looking pretty relaxed and it's a nice break from the crazy that is third year. so trying to scheme a couple more getaways, and defo down for porto en masse.