on honesty

one question that crops up a fair bit is "are you sure you're in school?" and i'm often a little stuck for an answer. yes, i am. but it's also my second degree and there are other things i consider important. 

suppose it's in part my fault for posting holiday snaps on fb (oh fb, can't live with you, can't live without) and fb has a nasty way of rubbing one's pseudo shiny happy life in someone else's face. have been told by well-meaning friends that this blog doesn't help, either. but surely no one is naive enough to think that life is perfect and one sun soaked escapade after another. recognise that i'm fortunate to be in a good place and ever grateful for the opportunities i have. yet there are things about my life that i'm not 100% happy with and guess what, i'm probably not alone on that. 

but much as i want this blog to be a semi-accurate reflection of life, it's also a happy space that i guard quite zealously. i'll admit to the occasional rant (usually of racist / i want to go back to sg where people are less mean nature) but thankful they're few and far between. and anything else that's not going great (believe me when i say there are plenty!) is not suitable for a public forum. blessed to have a support network of amazing friends on whatsapp, just a skype call away and family only too happy to keep me in prayer. 

i sound like a broken record when i feebly try to explain why the mister and i live the way we do and travel as much as we can. the usual yada yada no kids yada yada living on our own in london yada yada which makes me wonder why some people seem to delight in raining on our parade / reminding me how hard life is going to be when i eventually start work / a family. they're not exactly haters, or maybe they are, but more insidious i.e. joy-robbers. either way i've pretty thick skin and not overly bothered. and it's that often bandied around internet thingum about how everyone we meet is facing a battle we know nothing about, so be kind.

one of the nicer things about growing up is the result of ruthless editing that leaves relationships and possessions by the wayside. this added distance makes me realise who i genuinely like, and who i've merely tolerated (and vice versa!) over the years. this inertia and subconscious reductionist mentality has really started to gather momentum the last couple of years. 

and yes, i'm in school, it's a full-time degree with the not infrequent moment of sheer panic that i'm abysmally far behind my peers and needing a discipline / brain / attitude transplant to pass the year. it's one of those things that sort of borders on arrogance, the whole being too cool for school or not needing to study. no, not true. i do study but have long learnt it's not about the hours but the quality of the work. no secret there, and when i run out of hours then i jolly well be able to do good work and deliver when it counts. doesn't help when the mister makes balancing work and school look easy, with straight A+s and a perfect GPA. topping the dean's list and i'm incredibly proud of him. far from being a doss course, it's the best of its kind globally with a crazy accomplished student profile. pretty stiff competition for that top spot! think it's important to give credit where due. would ordinarily be more pseudo-british and less braggy but also find it heartening when couples are openly supportive of each other. he's my biggest cheerleader and i'm his.

(porto series to resume tomorrow)