thanksgiving

i'm always quick to qualify / go on the defensive that i'm not the biggest fan of uhmurika. thanksgiving, a typically uhmurikan holiday, isn't one i'm in the habit of celebrating. my cantankerous soul doesn't quite buy into the whole holiday business, because if we celebrate love / gratitude / christ all whole year round then why celebrate it all the more on valentines' / thanksgiving / christmas? but before you think i must've had a deprived childhood (far from, i hope!) i've somewhat accidentally celebrated thanksgiving the past couple of years. 

in first year, i attended a thanksgiving memorial service for the families of the deceased who'd donated their bodies to science. last year, a dear ithaca-based friend was in london and hosted an amazing thanksgiving shindig from her brother's flat and this year, the mister invited my three dearest friends to dinner in a hydroponics garden under the railway arches. when the mister was back home performing best man duties last weekend, T had taken me walking, and C organised dinner with some friends we'd been meaning to catch up with. and S, poor long-suffering S, has been such a godsend and one-person support network when i first relocated to the +44. from my china town induction, to last minute "omg i don't know how to do a neuro exam and my OSCE is in an hour...", to dragging me out of the flat with the promise of fried rice and bubble tea when i was certain i'd failed my exams and later celebrating when uh it turned out i was being a drama queen. bottom line: incredibly grateful for good friends who are practically family when we're so far from home. for people who have seen the good, the bad and the very ugly parts of me and hung around despite it. 

being grateful is a spirit i try to live every day in, and this year, i'm taking things slow and counting my blessings. i know i go on and on like a broken record some times, but i'm truly thankful for patients with hearts of gold, who let hapless medics like me attempt to take their bloods. every night i tell the mister how i've met so many gracious people who despite their personal discomfort muster a smile and say i'm welcome to take their bloods. and when i fail, still smile and encourage me to try again because, "you've got to learn, pet, don't stop now!" in a way it's made me more determined to get it right the first time, and increasingly i am, but it's such a chicken and egg situation, isn't it? i don't want to practice on patients until i get really good. but how do i get really good without practising on patients? there was one absolutely lovely irish man who sensed that i was nervous and started singing irish folk songs to put me at ease. must've worked, because i got blood (all 15ml of it for many many tests!) on the first go. and i'm grateful for good teachers, busy doctors who take time to explain things despite having an unending list of jobs. it's at all levels too - from the junior doctor stopping whatever they were doing to supervise me putting in a cannula, to the consultant who pauses in the middle of a hectic ward round to teach me how to interpret ABGs.  i feel like such a liability some times but keep reminding myself it's all part of the process and to pay it forward when the chance arises. in a nutshell, i'm very conscious that i'm blessed to have a second bite of the university cherry with the mister's full support. to be where i want to be, doing what i want to do, is an amazing feeling and one i wake up thankful for every morning.